How to Stop Being the Begging Type in Love: 7 Steps to Follow

Do you feel like you are always chasing after your partner’s attention, affection, and approval?

Do you compromise your own needs, values, and boundaries to please them?

Do you fear losing them if you don’t do everything they want?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be the begging type in a relationship.

This means that you are overly dependent on your partner and have low self-esteem. You are willing to settle for less than you deserve and beg for crumbs of love.

Being the begging type in a relationship is not healthy, nor is it attractive. It can lead to resentment, frustration, and unhappiness for both you and your partner.

It can also damage your self-worth and make you vulnerable to manipulation and abuse.

So how do you know if you are the begging type in a relationship?

Here are seven signs to look out for:

1. You apologize for everything, even when it’s not your fault.

You say sorry for things that are beyond your control, such as the weather, traffic, or your partner’s mood.

You also apologize for expressing your feelings, opinions, or preferences. You think that by apologizing, you can avoid conflict and keep your partner happy.

But in reality, you are only undermining your own dignity and integrity.

2. You beg for their time, attention, and affection.

You constantly text, call, or message your partner, hoping to get a response.

You feel anxious and insecure when they don’t reply or when they are busy with other things. You crave their validation and approval, and you feel worthless without it.

You beg them to spend time with you, to cuddle with you, to say “I love you” to you.

But you never feel satisfied or fulfilled.

3. You do everything they want, even if it goes against your values or interests.

You agree to everything your partner suggests, even if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy.

You pretend to like the things they like, and you avoid the things they don’t like. You sacrifice your own hobbies, passions, and goals to accommodate theirs.

You think that by doing this, you can make them love you more.

But in reality, you are only losing your own identity and individuality.

4. You tolerate their bad behavior, even if it hurts you.

You put up with their lies, cheating, insults, or abuse.

You make excuses for them, or you blame yourself for their actions. You think that by doing this, you can change them or make them appreciate you more.

But in reality, you are only enabling their disrespect and mistreatment.

5. You give them everything, even if it means having nothing for yourself.

You spend all your money, time, and energy on your partner, without expecting anything in return.

You buy them gifts, cook them meals, do their chores, and fulfill their fantasies. You neglect your own needs, wants, and dreams. You think that by doing this, you can prove your loyalty and devotion.

But in reality, you are only depleting your own resources and happiness.

6. You fear their rejection, criticism, or abandonment.

You are terrified of losing your partner, or of them losing interest in you.

You worry about what they think of you, and you try to avoid any negative feedback. You are afraid of being alone, or of finding someone else.

You think that by being the begging type, you can secure their commitment and attachment.

But in reality, you are only pushing them away and lowering your own self-esteem.

7. You don’t value yourself, or your relationship.

You don’t think you are worthy of love, respect, or happiness.

You don’t think your partner is lucky to have you, or that your relationship is special. You settle for less than you deserve, and you beg for more than you need.

You think that by being the begging type, you can make your relationship work.

But in reality, you are only making it worse.

How to stop being the begging type in a relationship

If you recognize yourself in any of these signs, don’t worry.

You are not alone, and you can change. Being the begging type in a relationship is not a permanent condition, but a learned behavior.

You can unlearn it, and learn to love yourself and your partner in a healthier way.

Here are some steps you can take to stop being the begging type in a relationship:

• Recognize your patterns and triggers. What makes you feel insecure, needy, or desperate in your relationship? What are the underlying beliefs or fears that drive your behavior? How do they affect your self-image and your relationship quality? Be honest and aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Challenge your negative self-talk. How do you talk to yourself when you are feeling low or rejected? Do you criticize, blame, or shame yourself? Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, or that you don’t deserve love? Replace these messages with positive, affirming, and empowering ones. Tell yourself that you are worthy, lovable, and capable of having a healthy relationship.
• Set healthy boundaries and standards. What are your needs, values, and goals in your relationship? What are your deal-breakers and non-negotiables? What are you willing to give, and what do you expect to receive? Communicate these clearly and respectfully to your partner, and stick to them. Don’t compromise your own happiness or integrity for anyone else’s.
• Practice self-care and self-love. What are the things that make you happy, fulfilled, and energized? What are the things that nurture your body, mind, and soul? Make time for yourself, and do the things that you enjoy and that make you feel good. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect. Love yourself first, before you love anyone else.
• Seek professional help if needed. Sometimes, being the begging type in a relationship can be a symptom of deeper issues, such as low self-esteem, codependency, trauma, or attachment disorders. If you feel like you need more support or guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist, counselor, or coach. They can help you heal your wounds, overcome your challenges, and improve your relationship skills.

Being the begging type in a relationship is not healthy, nor is it attractive. It can ruin your relationship, and your self-worth. But you can change, and you can have a better relationship. You can stop begging, and start living. You can stop settling, and start thriving. You can stop being the begging type, and start being the loving type.

References

• 10 Ways to Stop Begging for Attention in a Relationship – https://www.onlinecounselling4u.com/blog/10-ways-to-stop-begging-for-attention-in-a-relationship/
• 13 Telltale Signs Sure You’re Begging for Love – https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-you-are-begging-for-love/